Some Soul Talk - My Relationship with God & Truth

Earlier this year I wrote out my new year resolutions. I'm happy to say that I've accomplished all of them except for two..and a half. I've yet to print my art on t-shirts or publish my poetry, but what I'm stifled in most is my wavering back and forth in putting God first in my life. This is where the half comes in.

I've finally come to terms that I'll never be perfect, but I'll always be human. I've acknowledged my weaknesses and am honest with myself and in my relationship with God about my shortcomings. My own failures keep me from coming to God in prayer since I always feel awful coming with imperfections. But, I always need the reminder: Christ's blood cleansed me so I could come before God freely. And religion is what I make of my faith when I put perfection above this truth. And religion is a mockery of faith.

So, I'm writing this post to remind myself - and anyone else who struggles with this notion - that my feelings and lack of faith shouldn't keep me from approaching God. I'm grateful to know the power that comes with faith. I can say in all sincerity that every prayer of mine has been answered. I've seen lives restored, bodies healed, darkness dissipate. And there can be no question of power in prayer. For years now, I've had dreams of warfare occurring around me and when I open my mouth, when I pray or sing, the combat is halted. I truly believe this is a reflection of spiritual warfare. I've seen and experienced things that can't be explained which are things the Bible speaks of. And with all the shit happening in this world I'm constantly bombarded with the reality of love vs. evil.

I don't really know where I'm going with this post. It's just weighing on my heart. I guess I should end with this: if any of you are questioning what is and isn't, seek God with all your heart and you'll find him. And, also, I'd like to point out that you shouldn't just listen to churches or pastors, Popes or deacons, or whatever leaders you have nowadays....no, take responsibility for the pursuit of your soul. Take a violent pursuit and wrestle with questions, fucking tear them apart limb from limb until you're left with truth. Because truth does exist but it's found by those who seek it, not by those who blindly follow.