What Social Media and the Holidays Have in Common
- caitlinthiede
- Dec 17, 2015
- 3 min read
Do you recognize the cover picture on this post? That's the photo that went viral due to criticism of a mother's choice to buy an abundance of Christmas presents for her kids. But, really, whose business is it if someone wants to work hard to give their kids a Christmas they'll remember forever? Either way, this whole ordeal reminded me of a trait that both holidays and social media seem to share: vain competition.
This time of year it may be easier to spot what we don't have and what others do have. Be it loved ones, material possessions, money, or relationships - for some reason, now more than ever, it is easier to zero in on what's missing in our lives. What is supposed to be the "most wonderful time of the year" is for many a time of magnified pain, loneliness, and loss. We see all these things other people are buying which we can't afford ourselves and become sad, envious, or jealous. We see other families having a full count of heads around a table, no chair empty, and think, "What did I do to deserve this?" I say "we", but often, these thoughts are in my own head.
You can probably guess where I am going with this.
Facebook and Instagram have become platforms to compare our lives. As someone who has a history of struggling with jealousy, depression, envy, and a victimizing mentality, for me social media is like the holidays every day! And not in a good way! When I stay on Facebook too long, I become angry, resentful, and bitter. I see friends tag other names in quotes professing profound friendships, and I think "Am I not good enough?" or "Is so and so really my friend. Did I do something to upset them?" I get annoyed when once-in-a-lifetime announcements are made on a FB status post, but a phone call is never attempted to share baby births or engagements. Forget about the lifetime notices, what about holding a private phone call to share the burden of a bad day or to call and say hello? Now, a "like" is equivalent to conversational response - and sometimes an irrelevant one at that. (Like the time I posted "Does anyone want to go to an outdoor show with me tonight?" and I received a "like". That's not even an appropriate answer!) I'm not saying social media is bad. I'm just sharing my own insecurities and frustrations with having to compete with social media for real-life experiences.
In the same way the holidays can enable competition for showing off wealth or Chevy Chase style exterior lighting, FB can also unintentionally create competition for conversations, time with friends and family, and even social and financial status. I see where other people are in ther lives - married, having children, smiling - and compare it to my own mundane, travelless, underemployed life.
To me, the holidays and social media should be about people going out of their way to show kindness, love, generosity, and peace. Wouldn't it be great if instead of people posting about themselves, we would use social media as a way to check up on others as a supplement to phone calls, cards, and letters? Wouldn't it be great if Facebook and Instagram were the LAST way to get in touch with someone? And all the snapshots of concerts, travels, gifts, and families were posted not as a portayal of status and to receive affirmation, but as a keepsake in an album so that years from now, you can untuck the picture and laugh with the same friends face-to-face? Instead, social media has replaced daily interactions and has removed investment in relationships just like how presents may replace true faith and love which is to remain grateful even when we have nothing.
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